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How to Take Your Marriage to Another Level - Part 1

Day 1 - Mar 29, 2021

Respect Your Differences

We all view life through different filters depending on our culture, gender, birth order, genetic makeup, and unique history.  

A good relationship requires you to stay emotionally connected to your spouse who thinks, feels, and reacts differently, without needing to change or be fixed up.

 



Take Action

The first step towards respecting your spouse's differences is in trying to understand them.  

  • Recognizing your differences is easy.
  • Understanding them requires you to ask questions.  

 

Day 2 - Mar 30, 2021

Today is a day of action.  

  • Your goal today is to “Warm Your Partner's Heart”
  • Do something that has significant meaning to them.  Significance doesn’t have to mean expensive.

 



Take Action

Make a concerted effort to focus on the positive and do the little things that make your spouse feel loved, valued, and special.

This may feel difficult if you happen to be in the middle of a disagreement and you have a long list of legitimate complaints. But it isn’t impossible. It only requires you to lay those concerns aside and focus on serving each other.  

Day 3 - Mar 31, 2021

Today is about the Details

  • Watch your words, because words carry weight.  Are you crushing your spouse with your words?  Are you being crushed?
  • Say what you mean and mean what you say, without being mean.

Be intentional about making specific positive comments throughout the day.  

Like
:  “I loved the way you used humor to deal with that situation."  

  • After all, we usually have no trouble being specific about the negative, “Why do you always put to much water in the pasta.”

 



Take Action

Stop making statements disguised as questions! 

Statements are about venting while questions are about learning.  Vent your concerns to the Lord and then ask questions to your spouse.  

  • Slow down!  
  • Let emotions calm!  
  • It will lead to better communication which leads to healthier decisions.  

Day 4 - Apr 1, 2021

Dial Down the Criticism

Critical conversations must take place from time to time in your marriage.  But they must be discussed at the proper time and in the proper way.  

  • Critical conversations have a window of time to be discussed.  When the window is closed, its just criticizing.
  • Remember this: No one can survive in a marriage (at least not happily) if they feel more judged than admired.


Take Action

Your spouse won't make use of your constructive criticism if there's not a surrounding climate of admiration and respect.

  • Focus on creating the right atmosphere.
  • Invite the Lord into your conversation.
  • Invite your spouse into a conversation.  Don't be demanding.
  • Value them by listening.  

Day 5 - Apr 2, 2021

Just Apologize!

  • Its so simple to say the word, but we must mean it.
  • Apologies carries enormous weight when they come from the heart.
  • Apologizing does not always mean you are wrong, it just means that you value your marriage more than your ego.  

 

 

 



Take Action

You can say, "I'm sorry for my part of the problem" even if you're secretly convinced that you're only partially to blame.

The failure to initiate repair attempts -- or the failure to respond to your spouses attempt to offer the olive branch and move forward -- are flashing red lights in marriage.

  • Don't let issues grow
  • Don't feed them and don't ignore them
  • A heartfelt apology is a way to clean the slate for more discussion.