Four Habits of Happy Couples
Day 1 - Jun 12, 2023
Habits, Disciplines, and Traditions are everything in a marriage.
The regular patterns and behaviors of your relationship—the actions you take on a daily basis—will predict your future success. Good habits don't happen by accident.
Research has shown that it takes around 60 days for a new behavior to rewire your brain, turning it into a new habit. It starts out unfamiliar and new. Two months later, it can become your default setting. Marriages don't succeed because of chemistry or good luck. They succeed because a husband and wife are willing to put in the time. Creating an emotionally healthy marriage takes work.
Take Action
Take a moment and Identify 1 or 2 things that you would like to see become a habit in your marriage.
- Be specific and write them down.
- Try implanting them on your own first.
- DON'T tell your spouse they have to do anything.
- Pray about how and when you can lovingly invite your spouse to participate.
- There also might be a few habits you need to break.
Day 2 - Jun 13, 2023
Habit 1 - Pray Together & Trust God.
Early in our marriage, Mandy and I prayed on our own, as individuals. But we didn't always pray together unless it was a major issue. It finally hit us, "Why are we waiting to pray together until things become major issues?". There will always be suprises and things we can't control. But after several years into our marriage we became more intentional about praying together on a regular basis. When we did, it changed everything.
Making a habit of taking our worries and anxieties to God, together, brought peace to our marriage. Today, when worry tries to creep into our minds, and heart, We come together in prayer and speak against it. We don't want anxiety in our home. Our list of worries becomes our prayer list. We typically pray as we take walks by the lake, and Yes! We take alot of walks by the lake.
If something comes up that makes us feel stressed, we give it to God. This should become a habit in your marriage.
Take Action
Yesterday we asked you to list 1 or 2 things you would like to see become a habit in your marriage. Hold on to the list you made, and if it's not alrready on your list, begin to develop the habit of praying together.
DON'T MAKE IT RELIGIOUS!
DON'T SPEAK IN KING JAMES ENGLISH & DON'T TAKE A LOT OF TIME!
Be open and honest about what your praying about, and why you're praying.
- Find a scripture to stand on, and come in agreement together.
- It doesn't have to be long and loud.
- It needs to be sincere and in faith.
Day 3 - Jun 14, 2023
Habit 2 - Resolve Negative Feelings Daily
There's nothing wrong with anger, as long as the anger is fleeting. That's why Ephesians 4 says not to “let the sun go down” on anger.
- Today's anger is part of life. But yesterday's anger can be deadly.
Every marriage experiences moments of being angry, but a healthy marriage doesn't let it fester. When something comes up, communicate about it. Get it out. Share what bothered you or what hurt your feelings.
Listen and try to empathize. Process those emotions with your spouse and work to resolve them rather than dwell on them. Love stays when anger comes and goes.
Take Action
Make it Simple and Make it Sincere!
Ask for forgiveness if you need to...(Remember, it's not if you want to, it's if you need to). If you've been hurt, lovingly communicate how you were hurt.
- Our default reaction is to "Defend and Attack" when we feel pain or panic. There are no winners in this scenario.
Day 4 - Jun 15, 2023
Habit 3 - Having fun together and being best friends
You and your spouse fell in love having fun together. You dated. You talked. You laughed. You allowed each other into your worlds. Marriages start to go dry when fun disappears. Take sex and fun away from a marriage and you have a business relationship.
Date nights are essential for healthy relationships. It means your kids can't dominate your lives. Date Night helps keep work and bills from sucking the fun out of your marriage. Even if you have to pack your own dinner to save, find a way to get by yourselves on a regular basis so you can enjoy each other.
Take Action
You MUST stop seeing date night as a Luxury and begin seeing it as a Necessity.
You may also need to stop associating date night with a $ sign. It's about connecting not spending. It could be a coffee date or a walk to your favorite location.
- Make sure both of you are in the planning.
- Make it fun!
- It's not a business meeting. Important issues must be discussed, but NEVER on Date Night.
Day 5 - Jun 16, 2023
Habit 4 - Build Close Relationships with Other Believers
Finally, it's important to cultivate individual relationships as well as relationships with other couples. Choose those friends wisely, because bad decisions run in packs. Couples who spend time with ungodly or immoral couples tend to end up with ungodly marriages.
Or in other words, if your friends don't value their marriage, then you probably won't value yours. Your friends are your future. You can love everyone with the love of Christ, but your closest relationships need to be the kind that build you up. You need the support of strong believers.
Take Action
Healthy couples are people of prayer. They let go of negative feelings. They are each other's best friends. And they are deeply connected with other Christians.
What other habits do you need to pursue to improve the health of your marriage? Focus in on just ONE new healthy habit!