How to Share Your Thoughts and Feelings
Day 1 - Sep 15, 2025
Do You Struggle to Share Your Deepest Thoughts and Feelings with Your Spouse?
This is what God said when He created marriage: "Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh" (Genesis 2:24). In the next verse, the Bible tells us that Adam and Eve were both naked and unashamed.
- Being "One Flesh" refers to total intimacy—where nothing is hidden from each other.
People often use the phrase sexual intimacy to describe physical closeness, and while that is certainly an important part of marriage, emotional intimacy is a deeper level of unity that enhances physical intimacy.
Take the First Step & Be Vulnerable!
- Vulnerability not only builds trust, but it is also essential for forging an emotional connection.
However, becoming vulnerable with each other doesn’t come easily for many couples. Past pains or current hurts can cause us to be guarded, creating an unhealthy margin in our marriage. This means we only open up our hearts to a safe limit to avoid deep pain.
Take Action
Vulnerability is the ability to express one’s needs and wants honestly and openly, and it does carry a certain risk. Understandably, past rejections may make one afraid to take that risk.
- So, take it slow and share bit by bit.
- Keep encouraging and supporting each other, and eventually, sharing your thoughts and feelings openly with your spouse will become second nature.
What specific fears or hesitations do you face when it comes to being vulnerable with your spouse, and how can you take a small step to overcome them?
Day 2 - Sep 16, 2025
A Husband and Wife Should Communicate with Unhindered Emotional Access
This means having the ability to openly and safely express emotions in an atmosphere of sensitivity, care, and emotional support.
When discussing intimacy, I use the acronym INVEST:
Intimacy - Necessitates - Value - Energy - Sacrifice - Trust.
Let’s explore these elements as they relate to our emotions.
Value Each Other
You must value each other. Couples often argue about issues like money and sex, but they also fight when they don’t feel valued by one another.
You might hear or say statements like:
- "You don't care."
- "You don't care about the kids."
- "You don't help me around the house."
Take Action
Embrace Vulnerability
Being vulnerable in your marriage means allowing your spouse to know you fully—your thoughts, feelings, challenges, and weaknesses.
It can be scary to reveal these aspects of yourself for fear of being judged. This level of relationship can only flourish when you trust each other and feel safe.
Assess Your Trust Levels
- How trusting are you of your spouse?
- How trusting is your spouse of you?
Giving and receiving forgiveness helps heal the foundation of trust.
You might express feelings like, "You don't care about how hard I'm working or the sacrifices I make."
- What specific actions can you take to demonstrate to your spouse that you truly value and understand their feelings?
Day 3 - Sep 17, 2025
Life is Better When You Care About Each Other
This is called empathy—the ability to put yourself in another person's shoes. Ask yourself, "What must it be like to be married to me?"
Examine Your Attitude and Behavior
- Does your spouse KNOW they are valued by you?
- You can’t just assume they know; you need to confirm it. If not, you won’t experience true intimacy.
You must put energy into meeting each other's needs.
Acknowledge Your Differences
You both come from different backgrounds and have different ways of communicating and varying needs. This diversity makes marriage challenging. Learning to communicate in a healthy way requires effort.
Typically, when a husband speaks to his wife, she needs to hear security in his words. Conversations should reflect that emotional need. Conversely, a man typically needs to hear friendship and respect.
What does your spouse hear in your words?
Take Action
Take Ownership of Your Communication
Begin to take ownership of how you speak to your spouse. Be conscious of your words. You cannot make someone receive your words, but you are always responsible for:
- What you say
- How you say it
- When you say it
- Where you say it
Don’t justify your communication just because you have one or two aspects covered. Carefully weigh your words before you speak. When you do share, make sure to look your spouse in the eyes so you can see how your words affect them.
How can you actively demonstrate empathy in your conversations to ensure your spouse feels valued and understood?
Day 4 - Sep 18, 2025
You Must Sacrifice for Each Other
You and your spouse experience different emotions. You won’t always feel the same way about everything, but that doesn’t mean one person's feelings are less valid than the other’s.
- Recognizing this difference can require sacrifice.
The worst marriages operate on the belief that "Your feelings aren't valid unless you feel the same way I do." This sentiment is often felt rather than directly expressed, typically revealed through dismissive responses when one spouse shares their feelings, only to be rejected or ignored.
In a healthy marriage, the attitude is: "We may not feel the same right now, but I'm going to exit my world and enter yours. I'm going to try to hear your heart, not just your words."
Reflect on Your Self-Absorption
Can you sacrifice your inclination to be self-absorbed or detached? Be honest with yourself.
Living a sacrificial lifestyle in marriage is not easy. It requires work, reflection, and recommitment every day. However, the beauty and blessings that come from sacrifice far outweigh any perceived losses.
Take Action
Consider Your Sacrifices
Think of specific sacrifices you should make for the sake of your relationship. You might start by sacrificing your need to be right.
Learn to listen longer and strive to hear your spouse's heart, not just their words. The real value lies in understanding why your spouse feels the way they do.
- So, ask more questions!
- If you learn to "ask more questions before you make statements, it will save you on apologies".
What specific sacrifice can you commit to this week to deepen your understanding and connection with your spouse?
Day 5 - Sep 19, 2025
There MUST Be TRUST!
Trust is essential in a marriage, but you cannot demand it; you must earn it.
To create an atmosphere where both spouses feel free to share—where you can be emotionally naked and unashamed—you need to feel safe. No one wants to be judged for their feelings. A healthy marriage provides a space for each person to share any emotion, knowing it will be respected.
- Have you created a safe emotional space for your spouse?
The Connection Between Intimacies
- Physical intimacy begins with emotional intimacy. This internal connection requires value, energy, sacrifice, and trust.
Take Action
Are you INVESTing in your marriage? Or does it feel like there are constant withdrawals with little investment?
- Do one special thing today for your spouse without expecting anything in return.
- What specific actions can you take to strengthen the trust in your marriage and create a safer emotional space for both you and your spouse?