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Are Soulmates a Myth?

Day 1 - Sep 22, 2025

Our topic this week is both fun and intriguing. We’ve been influenced from an early age about what the answer should be regarding soulmates. So, here we go!

Is Your Spouse Your Soulmate?

A more direct question is, "Can you and your spouse actually be Soulmates?" The reason marriages truly succeed is that we allow God to intervene and heal us—and we begin following His plan for our marriage. Through hard work, we can become best friends and soulmates.

Most stories don’t fit the typical romantic notion of finding and marrying the person of your dreams. This disconnect arises because much of what our culture believes about soulmates is built on false expectations that set couples up for failure.

Three Dangerous Soulmate Myths:

  1. My soulmate will be just like me. The online dating world suggests that we can instantly connect with someone because we match in category after category.

  2. Are you under the impression that if you and your spouse are soulmates, everything should be easy?

  3. Do you think that because you’re facing difficulties in your marriage and the feelings aren’t as strong as they used to be, you must not be soulmates and have fallen out of love? That’s garbage!



Take Action

Are you under the impression that if you and your spouse are Soulmates everything should be easy? 

There Are NO Perfect Marriages!

However, there are some great marriages, and all great marriages require a great deal of work—and it’s truly worth it.

The question you need to ask is simple and direct: How hard are you working on your marriage?

I know what you’re thinking: What about asking that same question to my spouse? It definitely takes two, but let’s focus on what’s easiest to work on: ourselves. I didn’t say easy; I said easiest.

Invest in your marriage today.

  • Serve your spouse in a special way.
  • Buy a marriage book.
  • Clean the house.
  • Do something today!

Day 2 - Sep 23, 2025

Many people have found success with online dating, and that’s wonderful! We have even recommended a few faith-based programs. Our individual differences are designed by the Lord, and it’s important to recognize that no two people are perfectly compatible.

Compatibility Is Based on Character and Values—Not on Sameness.

A well-known study by the Gottman Institute found that successful couples are those who not only recognize their differences but also engage in constructive communication about them. In their research, they discovered that couples who embrace their unique traits and work through conflicts together have a higher chance of lasting satisfaction in their relationships.

This highlights the importance of understanding and appreciating your spouse's individuality. 

  • Embrace the differences, and let them become a source of strength in your marriage!


Take Action

You and your spouse may share many similarities, and that’s great, but it’s how you manage your differences that can elevate your marriage to another level.

How is your spouse different from you? 

  • Identifying those differences is easy, but understanding why they exist requires asking and listening.
  • Is this a challenge for you, or do you embrace their differences?
  • What does "embracing their differences" look like for you?

Day 3 - Sep 24, 2025

Often, it’s only after marrying someone that you discover just how different you both are at the beginning of your journey together.

The Myth of the Perfect Match

Assuming you and your spouse should be a perfect match can lead to heartache. The second myth is that marrying your soulmate guarantees a problem-free marriage. This perception can result in huge disappointment and is unfair to both of you.

Many people believe that marrying their soulmate means enjoying day after day of positive feelings in their relationship. However, every couple will inevitably face challenges that require work. It’s normal to experience negative feelingstoward each other at times.

It's important to know that successful marriages are built on effective communication and the ability to manage conflict. Their studies reveal that couples who openly discuss their differences and work through challenges together are more likely to achieve long-term satisfaction in their relationships.



Take Action

Building a Strong Foundation

While marrying a believer and establishing a foundation of good communication can help minimize problems, it doesn’t eliminate them. You will never avoid every obstacle or conflict.

To strengthen your relationship in this area, consider these two key steps:

  1. Schedule Weekly Check-Ins: Set aside time each week to discuss your feelings and any issues that may have arisen. Use this time to actively listen to each other without interruptions, ensuring both partners feel heard and valued.

  2. Practice Gratitude Daily: Make it a habit to express appreciation for specific things your spouse does each day. This can help counterbalance negative feelings and foster a more positive atmosphere in your marriage.

Day 4 - Sep 25, 2025

Guard Your Mind!

The enemy desires nothing more than for you to experience negative feelings and think, "I married the wrong person."

Here’s the truth: Soulmates are not born; they are made in the trenches of life. The greatest marriages are those where two committed believers roll up their sleeves and fight hard for their relationship.

The third myth is that your soulmate will always make you happy. No single person can meet all your needs or ensure your happiness. The true basis of happiness is God; only He can fulfill our deepest needs.

Placing the responsibility for your happiness on your spouse sets them up for failure. This expectation is both unfair and a lie! If you have intentionally or unintentionally placed this burden on your spouse, you will bring heartache into your life and marriage.

You are a helpmate to each other, with the ability to make everything better or worse. Remember, you are NEVER each other's source of joy or pain.



Take Action

Key Steps to Strengthen Your Relationship

  1. Daily Affirmation Ritual: Each day, take a moment to share something you appreciate about your spouse. This simple practice can foster a positive atmosphere and remind both of you of the value you bring to each other’s lives.

  2. Set Personal Happiness Goals: Instead of relying on your spouse for happiness, identify activities or goals that bring you joy. Share these with your spouse so you can support each other in pursuing individual fulfillment, which ultimately strengthens your partnership.

Day 5 - Sep 26, 2025

Remember—Don't Believe the Myths!

Instead, focus on the actions that create a soulmate. Make choices that build a strong bond between you and your spouse.

Our culture perpetuates several lies about soulmates. Don’t buy into those myths. Instead, embrace the truth: your soulmate is someone who puts you first, gives to you, and genuinely cares about you.

Research emphasizes that successful marriages are built on empathy and understanding. Their studies reveal that couples who actively try to see things from each other's perspectives and invest time in nurturing their relationship report higher levels of satisfaction and stability.



Take Action

Key Steps to Strengthen Your Relationship

  1. Leave Thoughtful Notes: Invest in each other by leaving a love note or sending a heartfelt text. This small gesture can brighten your spouse’s day and remind them of your affection.

  2. Engage in Active Listening: When communicating, listen with your eyes as well as your ears. Show genuine interest in what your spouse is saying and validate their feelings. This helps strengthen emotional intimacy.

  3. Make Your Marriage a Priority: Regularly set aside time to connect. Talk openly about your lives and aspirations, ensuring your relationship remains a top priority.

  4. Surprise with Kindness: Treat your spouse to one of their favorite things “just because.” Whether it's their favorite snack or a spontaneous outing, these surprises can deepen your connection.