Back to All Series

Top Five Sexual Needs of Married Men & Woman - Part 2

Day 1 - Oct 5, 2020

God created men and women, and God created sex.  

But he created us with different sexual needs. Dr. Gary and Barb Rosberg, wrote a book called, "The Five Sex Needs of Men and Women" that detailed these differences.  In researching their book, the Rosberg's interviewed around a thousand Christian couples about their sex lives. The results of these surveys are very revealing.  According to their findings, here are the top 5 sexual needs for married men and women.

A man's fourth sexual need is Initiation by his wife.  

He wants her to initiate verbal affection, physical affection, and sexual affection.  When sex is the woman's idea, it means everything to him.

Take Action

Most women don't fully understand how much self-doubt men carry around all day.  Am I any good at what I do?  Does my wife think I’m a good husband?  Is my colleague going to figure out that I’m making this up as I go along?  Do I measure up as a man?  As a dad?   Men are far more emotionally vulnerable than most realize.

It may be a suprise to discover that a man’s most emotionally vulnerable time is when he approaches his wife for intimacy.  A man feels like he is shakily extending out his unprotected heart, not knowing whether she will tenderly embrace it or smack it down. 

Certainly, there are also women who feel vulnerable when they are the ones with the higher libido than their husband.  But for the majority of couples, it is the other way around.  So when you respond well to your husband’s vulnerable heart, it is deeply comforting. 

Day 2 - Oct 6, 2020

A woman's fourth sexual need is Spiritual Intimacy.  

A typical wife wants her husband to be the spiritual leader of their home, to pray with her and connect with her on a spiritual level.  This means most of what is sexually important to a woman happens before she gets in bed.


Take Action

A wife wants a marriage as a cord with three strands: God, Husband, and Wife.

She wants God to be inextricably woven throughout the marriage relationship.  She needs to be growing spiritually and watching you grow spiritually while leading the home.  Remember, leading doesn't mean dictating.  

Men, take the first step by encouraging her spiritual growth, encourage her fellowship with you and others, encourage her to express her spiritual gifts and encourage her with your prayers.

Day 3 - Oct 7, 2020

A man's fifth sexual need is Affirmation.

Like the first need of the wife, a husband wants to be appreciated, respected, and honored. He wants to feel like he is not being taken for granted.

Take Action

Your husband will feel discouraged and defeated when he doesn’t hear you cheering him on – or he’ll seek the applause somewhere else.

When he knows that he’s the only one in your world, the walls around your marriage grow stronger.  Encourage him to hear your applause. Encourage him by reminding him of God’s work in his life.  Most importantly, pray for him to hear the applause of heaven – to know God is on his side!

Day 4 - Oct 8, 2020

A woman's fifth sexual need is Romance.

This means pursuing her by meeting unspoken needs. It shows her that she is valued and on your heart.  

Romance tells a wife that her husband is thinking about her—even when he doesn't have to be.  

Men and women are different by God's design. Husbands and wives are not the same, and both have particular needs related to sex. Understanding those needs is key to a healthy, intimate, and successful sex life.

Take Action

Generally, Romance includes one or more of the following:

  1. Small actions that convey affection, adoration, thoughtfulness, and love
  2. Activities or actions of novelty-actions executed for no other purpose than to enhance feelings of joy and connectedness
  3. Class – activities or events that add a touch of high living.
  4. Any actions which bring a couple closer or show thoughtfulness and adoration

Romance needs to be a normal and necessary part of our lives, and the truth is there are no secrets to romance.

You need to know what works for your partner.  What makes them happy?  Now, apply some of those things as often as you can to sweeten your relationship.

Day 5 - Oct 9, 2020

Here are the top five sexual needs of your spouse.  

Men: 1)Mutual Satisfaction  2)Connection  3)Responsiveness  4)Initiation by Wife  5)Affirmation

Women:  1)Affirmation  2)Connection  3)Non-Sexual Touch  4)Spiritual Intimacy  5)Romance

It's important you understand your spouses needs.  Your needs are very important too, but your focus should be on your spouse.  So, read them one more time!

Take Action

Set some time aside and put your primary focus on meeting the needs of your spouse without sharing what you’ve learned. 

  • Make it genuine!
  • Make it fun!
  • Don't over think it - Just do it!