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Intentional Intimacy

Day 1 - Oct 12, 2020

Intimacy should always be Intentional.  

A husband and wife may be naturally attracted to each other, but that doesn't mean a healthy sexual relationship will happen automatically.  Passion ebbs and flows in a relationship. Romance comes and goes.  

  • The honeymoon ends, and when that happens, a couple has to work at it.  

Sex is more than just physical effort.  The physical element may be obvious, but sex also has spiritual and emotional factors.

Take Action

Being intentional in your marriage means being proactive and working on your marriage each and every day.  It involves taking responsibility for your actions and the effect they have on your marriage, and also making adjustments when things start to get off track.

Below are 5 keys that I believe are important if we desire to be intentional about our marriage.

  1. Make your spouse a priority.

  2. Date your spouse and spend ample quality time together.

  3. Don’t underestimate the importance of sexual intimacy. 

  4. Build margin into your life.

  5. Love your spouse in their love language.

Day 2 - Oct 13, 2020

The Spiritual Component of Intimacy: God created sex, which makes it a spiritual act as well as a physical act.  

Sex requires intimacy, and the greatest type of intimacy is spiritual intimacy.  That surprises some people, but research suggests that the most sexually satisfied people in the world are married Christians. That's because, for Christians, marriage is more than just a piece of paper.  It is an act of the spirit of God.

Take Action

Ladies:  Your husband needs to be growing spiritually. He needs spiritual connection with God, with you, and with other men. Being the spiritual leader of your family is the toughest job your husband will ever take on, and he needs your help. Encourage him to spend personal time in the Word, talk about Scripture with him, pray with him, pray for him, and make time for fellowship and worship together.

Men:  A wife wants a marriage as a cord with three strands: God, husband, and wife. She wants God to be inextricably woven throughout the marriage relationship. She needs to be growing spiritually and watching you grow spiritually and leading the home. To do so, encourage her spiritual growth, encourage her fellowship with you and others, encourage her to express her spiritual gifts and encourage her with your prayers.

Day 3 - Oct 14, 2020

Many people look at marriage as a type of contract, in which people protect their rights and limit their responsibilities.  But the Bible describes marriage as a covenant. Covenant means "to cut," and in the Bible, a covenant always required a sacrifice.

Unlike a contract, when we enter a covenant we surrender our rights and assume our responsibilities.  That's why a covenant is permanent until death.  That's why we promise to stay married for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness or in health.  Biblically, every covenant has a seal and sign, and God created sex to be the seal and sign for the covenant of marriage.  


Take Action

We seal that covenant by consummating a marriage. Throughout the married relationship, sexual intimacy is the fullest expression of that sacrificial covenant.  

That's the reason the best sex occurs when spouses put each other's interests ahead of their own. A sacrificial attitude leads to amazing sex.

Do something special "special means siginificant not expensivefor your spouse, and do it TODAY.

Day 4 - Oct 15, 2020

The Emotional Component of Intimacy:

Emotional connection between a husband and wife is also essential to a healthy sexual relationship.

  • That relationship can become strong through emotional validation.  

Here is a great example of emotional validation from Pastor Jimmy Evans:  "I once spoke to a man who was complaining to me about the lack of intimacy in his marriage. He mentioned something his wife has recently said to him. I asked how he responded. "I just laughed at her," he said.  In other words, he didn't validate anything she had to say.  Even if he didn't quite understand what she needed from him, he should have listened and acknowledged that her words were important".  

"Even if he didn't agree, he needed to validate how she felt.  Women need verbal affection.  They need to know that they are being heard. Instead, this woman walked away hurt because her husband refused to see things from her perspective. And he wondered why they had problems with intimacy! I told him that he needed to be responsive to her outside the bedroom if he wanted her to be responsive to him inside the bedroom".  

Take Action

Men:  When your wife hears the word intimacy, she thinks about emotional connection and communication. She wants a marriage that has vulnerable sharing of inner thoughts, feelings, spirit and true self. Listen to her. Show her an understanding heart. Give her attention and affection. Build rapport with her. Resolve conflict and safeguard your relationship.

Ladies:  Give him time.  Be patient.  When he knows that he’s the only one in your world, the walls around your marriage grow stronger.  Encourage him to hear your applause. Encourage him by reminding him of God’s work in his life. Most importantly, pray for him to hear the applause of heaven – to know God is on his side!

Day 5 - Oct 16, 2020

Husbands and wives need to sit down with each other on a regular basis and have open communication with each other.  It doesn't have to be a Long Conversation, but it needs to be a Regular Conversation.

  • Share.
  • Listen.
  • Talk about how you feel.

Become a safe place for each other to become vulnerable. That emotional connection is crucial to sexual intimacy. 

Take Action

Great sex is much more than personal pleasure.  

  • Between a husband and wife, sex is a physical act that reflects a spiritual covenant and an emotional connection.  
  • That's how God created it—and He designed it to be spectacular.