Training Your Mouth for Your Marriage
Day 1 - Sep 8, 2025
The Connection Between Our Words and Marriage Health
It’s important for us to recognize that the health of our words is directly tied to the health of our marriage. Our communication can either build up or tear down the relationship we cherish.
Proverbs 18:21 tells us, "Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruit." The very next verse states, "He who finds a wife finds a good thing, and obtains favor from the Lord."
- Isn’t it fascinating how these two verses are placed together? It suggests that how we speak about our spouse and our marriage can significantly influence our experience of love and favor.
Think about this: the state of your marriage will never rise above the level of your words. When we communicate positively and lovingly, we create an environment where our relationship can flourish. Conversely, negative or hurtful words can undermine our connection.
Take Action
Consider These Reflective Questions:
- What words are you speaking over your marriage and spouse?
- Are you using language that lifts them up or tears them down?
- What words are you speaking intentionally? And what about the words you say unintentionally?
- Have you said things you now regret and need to apologize for?
After taking a moment to reflect on your words, it’s time to take action.
Make a conscious effort to use positive and affirming language when speaking to and about your spouse. Whether it's complimenting them, expressing gratitude, or simply saying "I love you," these words can have a profound impact on your relationship.
Day 2 - Sep 9, 2025
The Impact of Our Words on Marriage
The words you say and how you say them can predict the quality of your marriage—without exception.
We must be vigilant about what comes out of our mouths in marriage because the power of life and death lies in the words we speak. God wants to use your tongue to create a vibrant life and a thriving marriage, as well as to bless those around you.
- Conversely, the devil seeks to use your words to destroy your life, harm your family, and hurt others.
The Choice is Ours!
As Proverbs 18:21 (NLT) reminds us, "The tongue can bring death or life; those who love to talk will reap the consequences." This highlights the profound impact our words can have on our relationships.
Take Action
Find one verse in the Bible that reflects a Promise or Value you want to see in your marriage. This could be about love, patience, unity, or any other quality you desire.
- Write it down five times.
- Speak that verse out loud every morning.
If you need help finding a verse, visit YouVersion.com and type in the word you're looking for in the search area.
By intentionally focusing on uplifting words, you can cultivate a positive atmosphere in your marriage and strengthen your bond.
Day 3 - Sep 10, 2025
Whoever has control over their tongue has control of a powerful thing. — James 3:2
Many people have destroyed their marriages with their words. Some are naturally gifted speakers, easily articulating their thoughts, while others may struggle to express their wisdom clearly. This difference can create an imbalance in communication.
When one spouse dominates the conversation, it can lead to manipulation. If they don’t get their way, they may twist words to undermine their spouse.
- Reflect on this: Do you tend to dominate conversations during tense moments, or do you withdraw and go silent?
Clear and caring communication is essential for a healthy relationship. To achieve this, you need a safe environment—a space where both partners feel comfortable to speak and listen.
Take Action
If you’re struggling with communication in your relationship, don’t hesitate to seek professional guidance. It can make a significant difference!
Questions for Reflection:
- For Couples: What specific communication habits can we improve to ensure both of us feel heard and valued during difficult conversations?
- For Yourself: How do my own communication styles—whether dominating or withdrawing—impact my relationship with my spouse?
Day 4 - Sep 11, 2025
The Power of Words in Marriage
Consider this thought: If you're not being mindful of how your words affect your spouse, you may be using selfish language. Both partners can hold a one-sided view, shutting themselves off from understanding each other’s perspective. It’s easy to point fingers and make your spouse feel like the problem, and vice versa.
I've witnessed men watch their beautiful wives wilt under the weight of harsh words. Conversely, I've seen men become cowed by careless remarks from their wives.
God's restoration of your marriage begins with a sincere apology.
Keep in mind that while you may receive forgiveness, it can take time to rebuild trust. This process often requires a significant overhaul in the way you communicate with one another.
Take Action
Words are Powerful!
Words bring life and death. They wield an enormous impact on your marriage.
- What kind of words do you want to introduce and invest in your relationship?
- Are you encouraged or embarrassed by the words you choose to speak?
Make wise daily investments into your spouse with your words—whether they’re present or not. Speak life, show appreciation, and foster understanding. Your words can either build up or tear down, so choose wisely!
Day 5 - Sep 12, 2025
We live in a world that can be vulgar, sarcastic, and even verbally hateful.
If you communicate in the same way to your spouse, it will be challenging to foster a healthy marriage until you make a change.
Remember when you first fell in love? You spoke good things to each other, sharing life and encouragement. Marriages begin to fail when negative, hurtful words start to replace those life-giving messages.
Words do not evaporate; they have consequences. There’s no neutral ground when it comes to language. Good wordsbring about positive results, while bad words lead to harm.
Sometimes, people justify their hurtful remarks by saying, “I didn’t mean it,” or “You don’t know my heart.” Yet, in Matthew 12, Jesus teaches that "the mouth speaks out of the abundance of the heart." This means the nature of our words reflects the condition of our hearts.
A heart filled with hate and unforgiveness produces hurtful language. Often, the source of pain may not come directly from your spouse, yet the hurt can be unintentionally dumped onto them.
Take Action
A mean heart generates mean words, while a heart filled with love produces loving messages. A pure heart brings forth pure expressions.
We need to be careful with our words and take responsibility for what we say—especially in marriage.
Reflect on this:
- What words have you spoken this week that you need to own up to?
- Make a conscious effort to speak words of life and encouragement over your spouse.
- Your words have the power to build up or tear down, so choose to uplift!