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Day 1 - Feb 3, 2025

Each of Us Has What the Other Needs

God created us for relationship, meaning no one can fully meet their own needs. In marriage, I possess what my spouse needs, and they possess what I need. If we could fulfill our own needs, there would be no reason for marriage. This is why a marriage flourishes when a husband and wife serve one another.

We are called “Helpmates” for a reason. We enhance each other’s lives like icing on a cake, but we are never the cake itself. We can improve and add to each other's lives, but we can never be the primary source of joy, purpose, or identity for one another.

As God designed, the best marriages thrive between two loving servants. Each spouse needs to understand the other's needs and works diligently to fulfill them, putting each other’s interests first. They give generously to one another. Sexual intimacy is one of God’s greatest blessings in marriage, and it thrives on a true foundation of love and service. When that foundation is solid, the marriage becomes strong and enduring.

Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 (NIV) reminds us: “Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up.”

Day 2 - Feb 4, 2025

To cultivate a thriving and passionate sexual intimacy in your marriage, it's essential to embrace four core beliefs.  Remember them easily with the acronym TRUE:

• The Bible
• Reality
• Unmet Needs
• Each of You Having What the Other Needs

Biblical Foundation:
"Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous." — Hebrews 13:4 (ESV)

Engaging in Meaningful Conversations:  Do you and your spouse talk about intimacy? It's important that these conversations go beyond just discussing frequency.

• If you do engage in these discussions, consider: Are you speaking to convince, or are you listening to learn?
• Are you being honest with yourself and your spouse? Productive conversations thrive on honesty and openness. Great discussions begin with thoughtful questions.

Day 3 - Feb 5, 2025

Is the Bible True and Authoritative in Your Life and Marriage?

As Christian couples, it's essential to ask ourselves: Is the Bible truly the foundation of our lives and our marriage?  The ongoing attacks on the Bible in our culture highlight its relevance today. This is not a new tactic; the devil has been trying to undermine God’s Word since the beginning.

In Genesis 3:1, the serpent questioned humanity by asking, "Has God surely said...?" This was an attempt to instill doubt about the trustworthiness of God's commands. Had Adam and Eve adhered to His Word, they would have experienced the fullness of joy in their perfect marriage in the Garden of Eden. It was their departure from believing in God's truth that led to their downfall.

Every couple faces challenges, especially when it comes to intimacy and sexuality. If we don't believe that God’s Word is true, we risk being misled about what is right and wrong in our relationships. Unfortunately, many churches shy away from discussing sexual intimacy, often only reiterating the message, “Don’t do it unless you’re married.” But how do we keep our intimacy fresh and exciting without resorting to the world’s standards? Does the Bible provide guidance on this?

Only God’s Word can serve as our ultimate standard for truth. Marriage is a covenant, and physical intimacy symbolizes God’s divine approval of the union between a husband and wife.

Biblical Foundation:
"Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous." — Hebrews 13:4 (ESV)

Day 4 - Feb 6, 2025

The reality of marriage and intimacy is often much different from what our culture portrays. Movies, television shows, magazines, and social media frequently present glamorized views of sexual immorality. These images can create a false narrative, making us feel like we are missing out on something exciting in "the real world."

While these portrayals highlight pleasure and excitement, they rarely show the aftermath: the heartache, loneliness, and broken relationships that often follow. As Hebrews 13:4 reminds us, "Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral."

In this age of comparison, it’s easy to believe the lie that everyone else is experiencing better intimacy than we are. This unrealistic comparison can lead to feelings of disappointment and emptiness. Research shows that individuals who frequently engage with sexualized media are more likely to feel dissatisfied with their own relationships, creating a cycle of discontent.

Day 5 - Feb 7, 2025

Unspoken & Unmet Needs Can Open the Door for Attack on Your Marriage

In marriage, we commit to giving our bodies to one another, as stated in 1 Corinthians 7:4: "The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife."  When a couple begins to withhold intimacy, often using sex as a form of punishment, they may inadvertently open the door to temptation and strain their relationship.

Withholding intimacy is akin to removing food from your home and then being upset when someone feels hungry. It creates a void that can lead to feelings of neglect and resentment.

It's important to clarify that this message is NOT a license for sexaul abuse. Instead, it emphasizes that giving yourselves to each other sexually can help close the door to temptation and strengthen your bond. Withholding intimacy rarely solves underlying issues; rather, it often creates a wedge between partners.

• Please hear me, "This isn’t a license for abuse".  But when you give yourselves to each other sexually, you can close the door on the devil and temptations.