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Keeping the Passion & Sexual Intimacy in Your Marriage

Day 1 - Jun 8, 2020

In order to build a lifelong foundation for passion and sexual intimacy in marriage you need to have an understanding of 4 core beliefs.  These core beliefs are simple to remember because they spell out an acronym:  TRUE

  1. The Bible 
  2. Reality 
  3. Unmet Needs
  4. Each of You Having What the Other Needs

Do you and your spouse talk about intimacy?  Does the conversation entail more than just frequency?  

  • If yes, do you speak to convince or do you listen to learn?  
  • Are you manipulating?  Be honest with yourself.  You can’t have a real productive conversation without honesty.  


Take Action

It starts by being honest with yourself.  The ability to express your needs begins by understanding your spouses.  

Begin your conversation with your spouse with a simple question of..."Honey, you are important to me, so for a moment I'm putting my thoughts of our sex life aside to honestly ask you...When or in what way does your desire for our sexual intimacy ignite the most?"  

  • Pause...be very patient, and listen with an open heart and mind.
  • Ask more questions without making statements.  

Day 2 - Jun 9, 2020

The Bible is True and Authoritative in my life and marriage.  

The fact that the Bible is still under attack in America shows that it’s still relevant to our lives today.  Why?  Because attacking God’s Word is the devil’s oldest strategy.

In Genesis 3:1, when He first spoke to humanity, the devil asked, “Has God surely said…?”  In other words, his first priority is to convince us that God’s Word can’t be trusted.

Had Adam and Eve followed God’s commands, they would still be living in a perfect marriage in the Garden of Eden. It was only when they stopped believing the truth of His words that they lost everything.

Everyone has sexual issues, but unless we believe God’s Word is true, we will always be deceived about sex. Most churches NEVER address the issue of sex unless it’s a “Flyby” statement of, “DON’T DO IT, unless your married."  

  • Only God’s Word can be our standard for right and wrong.  Marriage is a Covenant and physical intimacy is symbolic of God's authoritative approval of union between husband and wife.


Take Action

Listen to the video resource below with your spouse on the symbolic essential role sexual intimacy plays in the marriage union.  

  • You may want to watch it first and then schedule a time that's convenient with your spouse to watch it again.  

Jimmy Evans of Marriage Today on Sex in Marriage  https://marriagetoday.com/marriagehelp/the-importance-of-sex-in-marriage/

 

 

 

Day 3 - Jun 10, 2020

The REALITY is much different than what culture portrays it to be.  Movies, television shows, magazines, social media and the internet display glamorized views of sexual immorality.  

These frequent visuals lead to people feeling like they’re missing out on something in “the real world.”  Even though they’ll show us the immorality and fun, they don’t show us the aftermath.  They don’t show the heartache, the loneliness, or disease.

We think everyone is having better sex than we are.   In this unrealistic comparison, our lives look dull and disappointing, but what we’re seeing is not reality.  This can lead to an emptiness and a false perception of needing to be more fulfilled.



Take Action

Are you allowing the wrong influences to come into your bedroom?  

  • Is there anything you want to do, or you're currently doing in your bedroom, which causes your spouse to feel cheap?  Or, causes you to feel cheap?
  • It can cause distance not intimacy?  
  • Pray and ask the Lord if you’ve opened a door to your bedroom that should be shut.  Sometimes in the attempt to spice up our love life and draw closer together, the opposite can happen, and we can actually push each other further apart.  Guard your marriage bed by not allowing wrong influences in.  Talk to each other about what you like and don't like.  

Day 4 - Jun 11, 2020

Unmet Needs Open the Door for the Devil to Attack Your Marriage

When you get married, you give your body to your spouse and they give their body to you.  But when a married couple begins withholding themselves from each other, for instance, taking away sex as a form of punishment, then we are no longer focused on meeting each other’s needs.  When this happens, you’ve given the devil an open door for temptation and other attacks.

You can’t remove all the food from your home and then get upset when a person starts to get hungry.  

  • This isn’t a license for abuse, but when you give yourselves to each other sexually, you can close the door on the devil and temptations.


Take Action

Withholding intimacy NEVER leads to a true solution, even if it feels like a temporary win.  In reality, it creates a wedge.  Have you, or are you withholding intimacy to get your way?  If so, ask for forgiveness, and set up a time to speak to your spouse.

vimeo.com/21349264   "Real Sexual Intimacy and Fulfillment" is a great resource video clip by Jimmy Evans, founder of Marriage Today. 

Day 5 - Jun 12, 2020

Each of Us Has What the Other Needs.

God created us for relationship, so no person can meet his or her own needs.  I have what my spouse needs and they have what I need.  If we could meet our own needs, we wouldn’t have gotten married.  That’s why a marriage flourishes when a husband and wife serve one another.  

We are called “Helpmates”

  • We’re like the icing on the cake for each other, but we’re NEVER the cake!  We can never be each other's source of joy, purpose, or identity.  We can enhance it and add to it, but we're never the source.  

By God’s design, the best marriages occur between two servants in love.  Each knows what the other needs.  Each works to meet those needs.  Each puts the other’s interests first.  They give, and give, and give to each other.  Sexual intimacy is one of the greatest blessings God has given us in marriage.  That’s why it’s one of the main reasons people get married; but passion and intimacy must begin with a TRUE foundation.  When the foundation is solid, the marriage will be strong.  That’s when you have a marriage preparing to last a lifetime!!



Take Action

Do you know your spouse’s “Love Language”?  

  • It’s important you do.  If not, you will find that many of the nice things you do, actually hit home with your love language and not your spouse's love language.  They may like it, but you want them to love it.  

Take the Gary Chapman Love Language test to discover each others Love Language.  http://www.5lovelanguages.com/profile/couples/

If you already know your spouse's love language category, do something today to meet one of your spouse’s love language needs without expecting anything in return.