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Day 1 - Jan 26, 2026

At Marriage Minute, our mission is simple: "Help Couples Develop Healthy Habits."

As we look towards 2026, it’s the perfect time to start praying about the healthy habits you want to cultivate in your marriage. Starting something new requires preparation and effort, and research shows that couples who actively work on their relationships report a 50% higher satisfaction rate.

Here are three key principles to help you stay focused while developing healthy habits:

1. Don’t Start What You Can’t Sustain: Be realistic! Setting overly ambitious goals or timeframes can lead to frustration. Studies show that couples who set achievable goals are more likely to stick with them.

2. Simplicity Leads to Significance: Keep it simple, small, and consistent. Simple habits are easier to maintain and can lead to significant improvements in your relationship over time.

3. Information Without Application Never Leads to Transformation: Don’t let accumulating information or wonderful ideas be your primary goal. Instead, aim for positive change in your life and marriage. Take small steps with Biblically-based insights, and focus on intentionally and consistently applying them. True transformation comes from putting knowledge into action.

Now, let’s dive into this week’s topic: "Uprooting the Old, Planting the New."

When one spouse begins to exhibit destructive behavior, it’s crucial to address it rather than ignore it. Doing so is essential for the health of your relationship.

So, why do people become destructive? There are four primary reasons. The first is "Ignorance," meaning they simply didn't know; they were unaware of other options. What they were exposed to growing up was what they perceived as normal. Many individuals have never witnessed a positive relationship model or have not been taught the skills needed to foster healthy connections.

Hosea 4:6 reminds us, “My people are destroyed for lack of knowledge.” Just as schools teach math and science, we need to prioritize teaching relationship skills. By understanding the roots of destructive behavior, couples can work together to build a stronger, healthier marriage.

Day 2 - Jan 27, 2026

Understanding and overcoming destructive habits is essential for a healthy, lasting relationship.

Neglecting to do so can lead to a downward spiral that affects both partners' emotional well-being and the overall health of the marriage.

Why Do Destructive Behaviors Occur?

Destructive behaviors often stem from unresolved conflicts, stress, or unmet needs. Research indicates that couples frequently share similar complaints, such as:

• “When things are good, we’re great. But when we argue, we can never seem to fight fair. It becomes downright nasty, and that just isn’t us.”
• This sentiment is common, with studies showing that nearly 70% of couples report experiencing significant conflict during their marriage.

Successful and loving couples do one thing differently than couples that are struggling.

• They don’t just keep their manners in check when they’re getting along; they know how to be polite to one another during times of conflict as well.

Day 3 - Jan 28, 2026

Bringing Light to Your Past Pain

Bad feelings like shame and fear grow in the dark. The devil wants us to keep our past pain hidden so we stay stuck. But you can find true healing and joy! All you have to do is bring those secrets into the light of God’s Word.

When you are honest about your hurts, your relationships will get much better. You will feel a weight lift off your shoulders. Instead of fighting, you can start talking with each other with love. Do not hide your problems or bury them deep inside. Facing them head-on is the path to peace.

 

Day 4 - Jan 29, 2026

Bad Friends & Negative Influences

One significant factor that can lead to destructive behavior in marriages is the influence of bad friends and negative influences. As the Apostle Paul warns in 1 Corinthians 15:33, "Do not be deceived; evil company corrupts good habits."

This means that if you surround yourself with friends who engage in dishonest or destructive behaviors—such as lying, cheating, or thinking divorce is an easy answer to marriage problems—you are more likely to adopt those same behaviors. Your social circle often shapes your values and actions.

Example: Consider a person who has a close group of friends that frequently make jokes about infidelity or openly criticize marriage. Over time, this individual may start to see these behaviors as acceptable, leading to a gradual erosion of their own marital values. If they continue to associate with such friends, they might find themselves justifying similar actions in their own marriage.

In essence, if you want to understand where you might be headed in a few years, take a good look at your friends. They can provide valuable insight into your future path.

 

 

 

Day 5 - Jan 30, 2026

The Detrimental Impact of Defensiveness in Marriage

Defensiveness can create a major barrier to healthy communication in a marriage. It often leads to negative patterns that hinder intimacy and connection. Emotionally healthy people are open to listening and having constructive conversations. However, when one partner becomes defensive, it builds a wall that blocks understanding and validation.

A Defensive Spouse Tends to:

• Dismiss Complaints: They often refuse to acknowledge their partner's right to express dissatisfaction or concerns, leading to feelings of frustration and isolation.
• Negate Valid Feelings: Instead of validating their partner’s emotions, a defensive spouse may invalidate concerns, making their partner feel unheard and unimportant.

The Consequences of Defensiveness:  Research shows the negative effects of defensiveness on marriage. A study published in the Journal of Marriage and Family found that defensiveness is one of the strongest indicators of divorce. Couples who are highly defensive are statistically more likely to face relationship breakdowns.

Defensive behavior not only erodes trust and intimacy but also hinders open communication. When concerns go unaddressed, they can pile up, causing unresolved issues that lead to resentment and emotional distance.

• Divorce Rates: According to the American Psychological Association, about 40-50% of marriages in the U.S. end in divorce, and defensiveness is a key factor in many of these separations.
• Communication Breakdown: Studies show that couples with high levels of defensiveness also report lower levels of relationship satisfaction.

In healthy marriages, open communication is essential. On the other hand, dysfunctional relationships often rely on silence, secrets, and defensiveness.