Taking Your Marriage to Another Level
Day 1 - Jan 12, 2026
Taking Your Marriage to Another Level
One of the greatest gifts you can give your spouse is intentionality.
We’re just beginning the second week of 2026, making it a great time to focus on intentionally investing into your marriage. It doesn’t have to be complicated—just consistent and genuine. Remember, our habits shape our lives, whether they’re positive or negative. Let’s commit to building healthy habits together!
Make a commitment to regularly invest in your marriage. This means being deliberate about nurturing your relationship and prioritizing time together.
Embrace Your Personality Differences: Opposites attract! We are naturally drawn to strengths in others that we lack ourselves—like an introvert marrying an extrovert. These differences bring richness and variety to life.
However, those same traits can also lead to conflict. The very things that first attracted you can eventually become sources of misunderstanding.
In my marriage, Mandy and I have a significant "personality gap." We joke that I’m the gas and she’s the brakes. I love planning the next big adventure, while Mandy’s laid-back nature keeps us grounded so we don’t miss the small, meaningful moments. Recognizing and utilizing our differences has made us a great combo.
From Tension to Connection: Your unique qualities add depth and balance, but if you aren't careful, they can create tension. Acceptance is the key to building a stronger, more resilient marriage. Instead of letting differences become points of contention, view them as valuable assets that enrich your relationship.
Take Action
To deepen your connection, take the initiative to truly learn about your spouse. Ask thoughtful questions and dig deeper. Don’t just ask what they like—ask "WHY" they feel that way. Understanding the "WHY" provides a direct window into their heart.
Two Ways to Grow This Week:
- Personality Assessments: If you haven’t already, take an assessment like the Enneagram or Myers-Briggs together. Discuss how your unique traits complement one another and help you navigate challenges.
- Shared Learning: Pick a book or podcast focused on communication. Engaging with new ideas together will spark meaningful discussions and strengthen your bond.
Day 2 - Jan 13, 2026
There Is a Difference!
When it comes to your marriage, are you behaving like a RENTER or an OWNER? Reflect on which one best describes your approach to your relationship.
Imagine you’re renting a home and discover a crack in the floor. You inform the landlord, who returns with troubling news: “It looks like the house has foundation problems. If you want to stay here, it’ll cost you $50,000.” As a renter, you would immediatley be looking for a new place rather than invest that kind of money into a property you don’t own.
In the same way, if you view your marriage as something you’re just renting, you might be quick to walk away when challenges arise. However, when you commit to being an OWNER of your marriage, you take responsibility for nurturing and repairing your relationship, no matter the cost.
Ask yourself: Are you ready to invest in your marriage as if you truly own it? Embrace the commitment and effort it takes to build a strong, lasting bond.
Take Action
Being an "Owner" of Your Marriage
Taking ownership of your marriage means actively embracing your role and responsibilities within the relationship. It involves being mindful of your words and how they affect your spouse, as well as consistently maintaining the health of your marriage.
What does it mean to be an Owner?
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Invest Regularly: Don’t wait for problems to arise before you take action. Reflect on the last meaningful thing you did for your spouse. This could be planning a special surprise, scheduling a consistent date night, or simply expressing appreciation. Small, intentional actions can strengthen your bond and show your commitment.
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Communicate Openly: Be proactive in discussing your feelings and needs. Effective communication fosters understanding and prevents misunderstandings. Make time to check in with each other regularly, ensuring both partners feel valued and heard.
Remember, your marriage won't improve on its own. It requires ongoing care and investment.
Embrace the responsibility of being an owner, and together, you can build a thriving, loving relationship.
Day 3 - Jan 14, 2026
Taking Ownership in Your Marriage
Taking ownership in marriage is a crucial step toward building a stronger, healthier relationship. A counselor once shared with me, "The hardest psychological endeavor in couples therapy is taking ownership of perceived hurtful behaviors toward one's spouse." This insight has been invaluable for Mandy and me. It emphasizes both the challenge and the importance of accountability in a marriage.
Understanding Ownership
To take ownership means recognizing and accepting your role in the dynamics of your relationship. It involves being honest about your actions, feelings, and the impact they have on your spouse. This accountability is essential for growth and healing within your marriage.
Example of Taking Ownership
Consider a couple facing communication issues. During a disagreement, instead of pointing fingers, both spouses choose to acknowledge their contributions to the problem:
- One spouse might say, "I realize I haven't been as open about my feelings lately, and that's contributed to this tension."
- The other spouse could respond, "I also need to work on actively listening when you try to express yourself."
In this exchange, both individuals demonstrate a willingness to take responsibility for their actions. Rather than blaming each other, they focus on their own behaviors and how they can improve. This approach fosters a collaborative atmosphere where both spouses can work together to find solutions.
Take Action
Two Key Steps to Encourage Ownership
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Practice Honest Communication: Make it a habit to discuss your feelings openly and without judgment. Create a safe space where both of you can share your thoughts and concerns. Use "I" statements to express how you feel, which helps to avoid placing blame. For example, say, "I feel hurt when we don’t communicate regularly," instead of "You never talk to me."
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Commit to Continuous Improvement: Taking ownership is not a one-time event; it’s an ongoing process. Regularly check in with each other about your relationship. Ask questions like, "What can I do better to support you?" or "How can we improve our communication?" This commitment to growth reinforces the idea that you are both invested in the health of your marriage.
By embracing ownership, you create a foundation of trust and respect that can significantly enhance your relationship. Remember, it’s about working together to strengthen your bond and navigate challenges with love and understanding.
This approach not only emphasizes the importance of taking ownership but also provides practical steps for couples to apply in their own marriages.
Day 4 - Jan 15, 2026
Dealing with Past Pain to Have a Better Future
Sometimes, pain from our past can cause big problems in our marriage today. If you feel like you always have "one foot out the door," it makes your relationship feel shaky and unsafe.
Research shows that 7 out of 10 couples say that old problems from past relationships still affect their marriage now. This shows how important it is to deal with those old hurts before they turn into even bigger issues.
When a big problem happens, it might feel easier to just pack your bags and run away instead of facing the pain. If you feel this way, remember: it doesn’t mean you don't love your spouse. Usually, it just means you are trying to protect yourself from getting hurt again.
To make your marriage healthier, you need to focus on two things: building trust and forgiving each other.
Try asking each other these three questions:
- Are there things from our past that are still hurting our relationship today?
- How can we work as a team to fix our trust and heal those old wounds?
- What can we do to make sure our love is stronger than our fears?
By talking openly about these things, you can start to heal. Healing takes time, but it is a journey that is well worth taking together.
Take Action
Opening Every Room in Your Heart
Are you sharing all the rooms in the house but not sharing all the rooms in your heart?
- Imagine your heart is like a house with four rooms. If you only let your spouse into two of those rooms, you will quickly feel distant from each other.
Many people lock some "rooms" in their heart because they are afraid of getting hurt, again. When you stay guarded like this, you can’t be truly close or happy.
- Think about this: Are you holding back a little bit just in case things go wrong?
- When you haven't healed from old pain, you might always keep one eye on the door, ready to leave if things get hard.
It is very important to promise to work through these problems together. Remember, the trouble in your marriagemight not actually be about your marriage. It might be coming from old pain that happened a long time ago.
If you are struggling to handle these feelings, it is a smart idea to ask for help. You should never feel ashamed for talking to someone else (like a counselor) to make your marriage stronger. Being honest and open helps you trust each other more and helps your love grow.
- You must be determined to fix your problems. Don't forget that the issues you face today might be caused by old hurts from your past.
- It is okay to get help from the outside when you need it.
Day 5 - Jan 16, 2026
Time for a Quick Relationship Check-in
This week might have been tough, so now is a great time to stop and think about how things are going.
Ask yourselves:
Are you committed to your marriage for the long run?
Think of your marriage like owning a home instead of just renting one. Owners work hard to fix problems because they plan to stay; renters often just move on. A recent study showed that couples who put time and effort into their relationship are 50% more likely to be happy. This kind of commitment means being ready to work hard and face difficulties together.
Remember: You don’t have to handle problems by yourself. Asking for help is a sign of strength, not weakness. Here are some things you can do:
- Talk to a friend or a pastor you trust.
- Find a church that offers support for couples.
- Read books or watch videos that help with specific marriage issues.
- Talk to a marriage counselor if you need extra support.
Take Action
Questions to Talk About Together:
To help you get closer and talk more easily, try discussing these questions:
- What steps can we take to get better at talking to each other?
- How can we make sure we both feel safe sharing our feelings without being judged?
- What hard times have we made it through before, and what did we learn from them?
- How can we be more intentional about putting time into our relationship?
Don’t let pride stop you from making your marriage better. Taking action now can lead to a deeper connection and a happier life together. Enjoy the journey!