It’s Killing Your Intimacy
Day 1 - Sep 9, 2024
People often use the word intimacy as a synonym for sex, as in "We were intimate", but they're not exactly the same thing.
You can have sex without intimacy. Intimacy is a part of sex, but true intimacy happens from the inside out. Many couples experience the outward aspect of sex but have little to no intimacy. Here are five things that can kill intimacy in a marriage.
1. Lack of Spiritual Dependence. This describes the unrealistic expectations that set a marriage up for failure.
Take Action
Are you depending on God or your Spouse?
People enter marriage hoping their husband or wife will make them happy or meet their needs, but the truth is that your spouse cannot meet your deepest needs.
- Are you placing unrealistic expectations on your spouse?
- Do you feel like your spouse has placed unrealistic expectations on you? It may be time to talk to your spouse. Be sure to be mindful of tone as you share and express care from your heart to your spouse.
Day 2 - Sep 10, 2024
Five Things that Can Kill Intimacy in a Marriage:
Yesterday we looked at the Lack of Spiritual Dependence. To improve intimacy, replace unhealthy co-dependence on your spouse with faith in God. Everyone needs acceptance, identity, security, and purpose, but those needs can only be met by God.
Today we're goign to look at the second area that can kill intimacy in your marriage.
2. Rejection of Differences. Compatibility in marriage is based on a husband and wife who share core values. However, you can be compatible but still be very different people. You don't have the same needs. Your personalities aren't the same. Your relationship with money isn't the same.
Take Action
We all face the same question.
- Will we reject the differences in our spouse or will we celebrate them?
To improve intimacy, celebrate the unique aspects of your spouse and, above all else, respect each other. Never be harsh or negative about the ways you are different.
Day 3 - Sep 11, 2024
Five Things that Can Kill Intimacy in a Marriage:
3. Distraction. Other than your relationship with God, marriage has to be your first priority. It has to come before your children. It has to come before your work or career. It has to come before your hobbies. You can't be intimate with a person who is not focused on you above everything else.
Stress and busyness also cause distraction—and can lead to one member of the marriage turning their heart away from the other. That's how affairs begin. Instead, choose faithfulness.
Be more faithful to your spouse than to anything else, including your work.
Take Action
Choose Faithfulness!
You need to be more faithful to your spouse than to anything else, including your work and kids. Your kids and your work are vital areas in your life and should be high on your priority list. BUT, they should not be higher than your relationship with the Lord or your spouse.
It's important that your kids see your spouse high on your priority list.
Day 4 - Sep 12, 2024
There are 5 Things that Can Kill Intimacy in a Marriage:
4. Unresolved Conflict. Intimacy is an act of good will and won't occur until you've dealt with any issues in your relationship. Often, because conflict is uncomfortable, a husband or wife will keep quiet about something that has frustrated or angered them. They bury it. That's when it begins to fester.
A wound that festers is far less healthy than a wound that is treated immediately.
Take Action
Pick at least 2 things on this list and implement them today:
- Be honest with each other.
- Don't go to bed on your anger.
- Don't bury your hurts or frustrations.
- Discuss your issues by setting up a specific time to communicate. Don't demand a time! Then try to hear your spouse's heart and not just their words.
- Refuse to hide, because good things happen in the light. Bad things happen in darkness.
- If needed, go to a trusted pastor, counselor, or friend to process prior to talking to your spouse.
Day 5 - Sep 13, 2024
There are 5 Things that Can Kill Intimacy in a Marriage:
5. Selfishness. The worst marriage in the world is one made of two selfish people.
The secret of fulfillment in marriage is a couple who is committed to serving one another in love. It's an attitude that says, "I'm not happy until you're happy." God created us to love and serve one another. That's who we are.
A marriage marked by intimacy is one in which a husband and wife are so integrated into each other's lives that they are almost indistinguishable.
Take Action
Is your marriage marked by true intimacy, from the inside out? Are any of these 5 factors inhibiting the intimacy in your marriage?
- Lack of Spiritual Dependence
- Rejection of Differences
- Distraction
- Unresolved Conflict
- Selfishness
Examine your relationship, talk about these issues with each other, and pursue marriage God's way. When you do it His way, your marriage has a 100 percent chance of success.